I realize comparing kids to dogs is not "apples to apples," but I do believe having a dog helps prepare you for being a parent. This is especially true when you think about Petey, my first "baby," who I got in May 2003 when he was nearly two months old.

I remember the first day we met. I bought him from a guy in Greenwood who was selling a litter of Puggles from Ohio. As Randy and I were heading down south, I had it in my mind that I wanted a girl dog. Randy told me I shouldn't focus on the sex of the dog, but rather on how cute and well behaved it was.

When we got to see the litter, there was a girl and boy puppy that I had my eyes on. Both were cute as a button, but when the girl dog started chewing on things, Randy was like you should go for the boy. Picking out Petey was a big deal for me because I had always wanted a dog of my very own.

I had allergies growing up so my family could never really have a dog. We tried a few times, but it never worked out. But then again, it was a family dog and not MY dog. Thankfully, I outgrew my allergies and felt blessed when I got my Petey. And like I remember that day, I know I will always remember the day I have Lydia.

I also remember the excitement of bringing Petey home, which then turned to exhaustion when he would whine through the night. I would go in his room and lay next to his cage and pet him until he relaxed. Then Bosco, Randy's dog, would start whining and I would put my foot in his cage so he did not feel left out.

Then there was the going outside in the middle of the night so little Petey could go to the bathroom and me making a big deal about him going potty as part of a positive reinforcement training method.

And ever since those early puppy days with Petey, I have learned dogs are like a kids in the sense of:

They are expensive. If you take care of a dog the way you should, you spend a lot of money on annual vaccinations and monthly medications to prevent heart worms and fleas. Then there are the unexpected vet visits due to illness.
They sometimes need a babysitter. If you are going away for the night or on vacation, you need someone to feed your dog and let them out. And it is not always easy to find someone who you trust with your dog.
They make messes and destroy things. Petey has chewed on wall moldings, ripped holes in wood paneling and peed on a brand new mattress before I even got all the plastic off.
They make you laugh. Petey once jumped up on me when I was in my pajamas and he "de-panted" me in front of Randy's parents.
They make you worry. Petey and my other dog, Abby, have gotten out of the yard, causing me to become panic stricken until I found them safe and sound. All I could think about was them getting hit by a car or never seeing them again.

And over these past few days, I have never been more worried about Petey. He has been having diarrhea issues for the past month and the vet finally found the root of the problem. He has a mass in his colon and is getting surgery tomorrow to have it removed. It's scary because colon surgery can be dangerous for a dog. After removing the tumor, the vet will have to reconstruct his colon, which can lead to infection and not fully healing. And if this should happen, Petey will need to be put down. Then there is the fear the mass could be cancer, which would then be another issue in itself.

All I can do at this point is be positive. Every time I look at Petey I want to cry. I just can't imagine my life without him. Plus, I have not been able to feed him for the past couple of days in preparation for the surgery. He loves his food so it pains me when I have to feed the other dogs and not him. Even Randy seems emotional about it all, and I can't thank him enough for taking Petey to the vet several times this week while I was at work.

If I am this way about Petey, I can only imagine if something bad like this should ever happen to Lydia. I just don't know how parents of kids with cancer or other major illnesses have the strength to get through such tough times. While I am not a super religious person, all I can do is pray for my Petey and hope that everything turns out just fine.

Update: February 3, 2013

One of my biggest fears has come true, and I will most likely need to put Petey down within the next few weeks. When the vet went in to do the surgery, he discovered the mass is not inside Petey's colon. It is an inflamed lymph node outside the colon that is putting pressure on the organ. Petey's other lymph nodes show signs of irritation and his spleen is not looking good. There was nothing the vet could do but sew him back up. The vet is pretty positive it is cancer, but he is sending some of the inflamed lymph node out for testing to be sure.

If it is cancer, which I am not going to fool myself into thinking it's not, then the vet suspects Petey will live three to four months without treatment. Chemo treatments will shrink the mass and prolong Petey's life but offer no cure. In talking with Randy, Petey's situation is pretty much the same as Papa. The doctor's could not remove Papa's tumor that was pushing on his intestines and chemo was not going to cure his cancer. It just turned into a waiting game.

I remember taking Petey to the vet when all of this started happening (when they thought it was colitis) and seeing a woman leave in tears. I knew she must have had to put her pet down, and I just remember thinking "I hope I never have to face that." So here I am a few weeks later in the same boat as that poor woman. I went in thinking he had the poops and now he is dying.

I can't really think about it otherwise I get all worked up and can't stop crying. I think about all the great memories Randy and I have with Petey. When Petey and Bosco were younger, we enjoyed watching them play together in the back yard. Petey would chase after Bosco and bite at his hind legs. Petey ran so fast and low to the ground that when he turned corners at warped speeds, you would swear he would get grass stains.

Once we hear back from the vet on the lymph node test results, which should be within the next few days, Randy and I will have to make some tough decisions. We don't want to have to watch Petey suffer at all. So right now, I am trying to enjoy Petey as much as I can and letting him eat whatever he wants ... as food has always been the biggest thing in his life. Yesterday, I gave him ice cream and plan to get him some McDonalds. I look at him and feel so guilty about not being able to do anything to save him. I just hope that I gave him a good enough life and he knows how much I love him.

Update: March 11

Petey ended up having incurable cancer. After being diagnosed, the vet gave him two to three months to live without chemo treatments. Unfortunately, he lasted less than a month before the cancer started to take its toll, and I had to put him to sleep on February 28. It was one of the worst and devastating experiences of my life, but thankfully he didn't suffer at all. I miss him like crazy and our family will never be the same.