13 Weeks.....

I remember the day that Sarah told me that she was pregnant.  I was working in my office and Sarah called me upstairs screaming " Randy, We have a problem, will you come up here?"  It was very concerning the way that she sounded, so I ran upstairs to see what was wrong. She was standing in the doorway of the bathroom and said " I am pregnant" .  At first I thought she was joking a bit, but I knew that is not something she would joke about.  My heart dropped and it was not in a bad way. It was in great excitement!!  So much emotion went through me.  I was excited, scared, happy, nervous, love, worried and lots of pride. 24 weeks later and all those emotions plus more still take me over at times.  

I can't believe that we are only about 13 weeks away.  If the next 3 months are anything like that past 6, Lydia's birth date will be here and I won't be ready.  I don't expect to be ready but I am hoping to be prepared. I am working hard to get things prepared  for her arrival. I know that there are many things that we can control and have prepared but at the same time there are going to be many things we will not be able to control or be prepared for.  That's ok because I do well with things that are not planned and have to be changed with little or no notice.  This being our first child we are going to have lots of things happening that we can not be prepared for. 

To help us prepare for Lydia's arrival we have started taking a Childbirth Prep & Newborn Care class at Community North.  It's a 2 hr class, one time a week for four weeks.  So with the 8 hrs of class we are going to be doing over the next month we will be ready for her birth. So far we have had one class. In the first class we were introduced to labor and birth.  I don't think that the class has helped me at all. I think it has actually scared me.  I am not ready for Sarah to be in that "state" in a few months.  

27 done and 13 more to go!!!

Girl Fears.....

I think that this past week of working on the nursery for Lydia has really helped it to set in that I am having a GIRL.  Crazy when I think about it. So now I have some fears about what the next how many years are going to be like as Sarah and I try to raise Lydia the best we know that's good for her and us.  I understand there will be things I will not be able to control or change.  There will be actions I will not be able to stop. She will learn things on her own to certain degree. I think like my parents we will need to be there to guide her in the right direction and make sure if she falls it is not to hard and that she gets right back up.  I have no doubt Sarah and I will be great at this. But with that said here are some milestone fears that I do have of raising a girl. I have some fears of just being a dad, no matter what the sex is.  But those are for a different time.

Puberty: The whole  menstruation, buying a bra, shaving her legs, needing deodorant, skin problems era is taunting me already.  Now I am lucky that Sarah will be there to guide her threw all this stuff but I will be involved in some way. I guess just me knowing it is happening and is going to happen is enough.  I remember my skin problems I had through puberty, it was not fun. Or the need to shave in the 4th grade.  I hate my hairy body.

Sex: Puberty inevitably leads to sex–  learning about sex, talking about sex, thinking about sex and  having sex. While I prefer to believe my Lydia will stay chaste forever, I know that is simply not the case.  I pray that Sarah and I do a good job in teaching her self-respect and understanding the consequences of her actions.  I pray she only encounters nice boys, like I was in high school.  

Mean Girls:  This one probably scares me the most.  Now I don't have many memories of not being part of the fun, cool and exciting group. I do know that somehow sometimes I ended up on the side of being the mean one. Whether it was to girls or guys, I did sometimes.  I know I can't change that today but I hope Lydia doesn't have to deal with guys like me or even worst mean girls.  I guess she will be lucky when she gets to high school Izzy will be there to show her the way with the older kids.  But it will be the start of school in Kindergarten up to 8th grade.  That's when it will start.  

Don't get me wrong I am very excited about having a girl. I know if it was a boy I would have a list here also. The only difference would be mean boys instead of mean girls.  Oh yeah and it would be about boners and not menstruation.  Either way it is scary.

Third Trimester Torture

On Thursday, I begin my 27th week of pregnancy, marking the beginning of my 3rd trimester. I am surprised I made it this far, given the breakdown I had yesterday evening where I told Randy I give up and don't want to do this anymore.

My sister took this photo of me on November 24 as part of my maternity photo shoot. While she did a great job, this is how I discovered my turkey neck.

My meltdown was the result of throwing up twice after dinner, not being able to get comfortable and my stomach itching like crazy from my skin stretching. And oh yeah, the two stretch marks I had on my lower abdomen literally multiplied over night. (I curse the demo lady at Costco who swore that Bio-Oil would ward off the ugly scar tissue.)  And to top it all off, the timing could not have been more perfect because over the Thanksgiving holiday weekend, I discovered I now have a turkey neck. All of this and Lydia only weighs a little over two pounds!      

Any who, this week also marks the start of the childbirth prep and newborn care classes Randy and I will be taking. I am a little apprehensive about the childbirth prep because I almost feel like ignorance is bliss right now. Being the worry wart that I am (thanks Dad), I am afraid if I know too much I will become even more anxious about delivery day. I even mentioned my anxiety to my Dad the other day and he said, "awh, it's a natural part of life and there is nothing to be anxious about." I wonder when was the last time he pushed something the size of a watermelon through his vagina.

I am, however, looking forward to the newborn care for Lydia's sake because at this point, I am not even sure how many times a day you feed a baby. Plus, I have only changed one diaper in my life -- and that was for Izzy last year when Randy and I were watching her. Thank goodness she was able to communicate because if it weren't for her, I would have never gotten through it. She had to tell me which side was the front of the diaper, and she even lifted her legs on cue to walk me through the process. 

Stay tuned because I am sure I will have something funny to share after our first class, especially since Randy feels the need to incorporate humor into everything ... even when he knows it annoys me. (It has even gotten to the point where they recognize him more at the doctor's office than me.)

Nursery Update.

My first post showing the nursery was 18 days ago. This is my first update in that amount of time. To be honest I have only been working on the room over the last three days.  I spent that time between the 3rd and the 18th putting together my plan.  Ok it's not much of a plan. I have just been busy getting the fall wound down and ready for winter.  My entire plan was put together in one day with the help of Pottery Barn for Kids.  Next week I have someone coming to help me get all the frames, shelves, curtains and etc. hung.  Here are a few pictures of where it is at today. Next week I will update with the final pictures.  

Thanksgiving, a Time of Mixed Emotions

This week is Thanksgiving, a good time to reflect on what matters most in life: family and friends. It is also a holiday that can conjure up feelings of sadness when you start thinking about people you miss. 

The last time I was at my mom's house, I noticed a sealed envelope that was addressed to me at my Hammond home. I asked my mom who it was from and she said it was from my Grandma Taylor, who died August 8, 1981 from lung cancer. Back then, I was almost five years old and my sister was getting ready to turn one. In fact, my Grandma was buried on my sister's first birthday.

Thanksgiving card from my Grandma Taylor.

My mom found the card at my Grandma's house shortly after she died. At which point, my mom decided to hold on to it until I got older. As I got ready to open the envelope, my mom and I had no idea what to expect. (My Grandma would get cards ready in advance as to not forget a special occasion, and unfortunately this one never made it to the Post Office.) We were both excited to see what was inside the envelope, but also knew it would bring out some tears. As it turns out, it was a sweet Thanksgiving card. 

My Grandma Taylor was the grandparent who I felt loved me the most. I was her first grandchild and she was always spoiling and doting on me. I had a "present drawer" at her house, and there was always a new trinket for me every time I would visit. Being that I was so young when she died, I have a hard time remembering what life was like when she was around. I do, however, remember the two of us spending hours cutting pictures out of catalogs and pasting them to construction paper. For some reason, that was an activity I loved.    

I feel bad for my sister because I don't think she has much, if any, recollection of my Grandma Taylor, but at least my Grandma got to hold her and photos of the two exist. But worst of all, my cousin, Mandy, who was born a couple of years after my Grandma died has no such memories.

This situation is similar to what is going on today with my nephew and niece, Jack and Izzy, and my soon-to-be-born Lydia. The passing of Papa Pete last January will really hit home for all of us this Thanksgiving. While I am thankful that I had 10 great years of knowing him, I hate that Jack and Izzy got cheated out of spending more time with a grandfather who loved them so much. And poor Lydia will never know what a great man Papa was and how much he would have adored her as well. This is where Randy and I will rely on Jack to share his favorite Papa moments with Lydia.  

The loss of my Grandma Taylor and Papa Pete (both who died entirely too young) is proof that life is unfair and a reminder of how important it is to be thankful for those who are still in our life ... not just on Thanksgiving but everyday. I love you Grandma and Papa! 

"Udderly" Scared

While I wish I could claim to be perfect much like Randy often does, I admit to having some weird quirks and hang-ups. When it comes to babies, one of my psychological complexes is the act of breastfeeding.

While as natural as breastfeeding is, I find it a little bit scary and creepy. Visions of long udders and cow milking often come into my head as well as those strange lactation stations they have at the State Fair. I already have to hear Randy make comments about my huge left boob, I don't need him commenting on my elongated nipples. I also feel very uncomfortable being in the same room when someone is breastfeeding, even if they are fully covered up.

I find this photo "udderly" disturbing.

But please don't get me wrong, I am not judging anyone who chooses to breastfeed.  I understand how healthy it is for babies (and you can burn massive amounts of calories during the process) so that is why I sincerely hope that I can get over my complex before Lydia arrives. 

During a recent visit to buybuy Baby, my breastfeeding fears became a true stark reality for the first time. As Randy and I were registering, we needed some help from the saleswoman in the feeding department. After talking bottles and nipples (who knew there are different-sized bottle nipples that correspond with the age of your baby), the discussion moved on to my nips and if I needed a breast pump. I told the saleswoman I was still on the fence about breastfeeding, but I was willing to hear about the least creepy of my options.

The saleswoman said the Medela pump is a good choice but advised me not to look at the photo on the box highlighting the hands-free option, as she said this would most likely creep me out ... and why yes, it most certainly did.

The photo was of a businesswoman talking on the phone while her jugs were filling up jars. C'mon, really ... what businesswoman could actually have a serious conversation with a client in this type of situation? I find the situation on par with those who choose to talk on the phone while pooping. Both situations involve natural bodily functions, but should probably remain completely solo. After all, the person on the other end of the line doesn't need any mental pictures of you if they catch on to what you are doing. 

So there it is folks just one of my many quirks. And if you are wondering about my parking spot hang-up from a few posts ago, it is still happening and driving me crazy every morning. I have gotten to work as early as 7:30 am just to get my spot and that [insert derogatory comment here] new co-worker of mine is already at work. It has even gotten to the point where it is giving my friend co-worker anxiety.  

Weird Pregnancy Cravings

People ask me all the time if I have any sort of weird pregnancy cravings and for the most part, I don't. If anything, I have had more food aversions. I remember going to Sam's Club during my first trimester and just looking at the food in the store made me want to throw up.

Before pregnancy, I craved sweets, especially ice cream, and had a hard time turning them down. With pregnancy, however, I can take them or leave them. I was also a big coffee lover, and now I rarely want it.

I love me some Coke from McDonald's.

It has been a situation where I wake up and think a particular food would be good that day, and that is what I eat. I will say that there have been a few reoccurring things I have wanted over the past five months, including: Coke from McDonald's (I've read that McDonald's does a couple of things different with their mixture in terms of water and syrup freshness to make it taste different), Pad Thai Noodles from Noodles and Company, fruit smoothies and fruit in general. 

But when eating anything, I have to really moderate myself because if I eat too much, I will feel uncomfortable and most likely throw it up. In the past, I could eat quite a bit in one sitting (sometimes as much as Randy) so the good thing about pregnancy is that it is forcing portion control on me. Sometimes I feel as if I had gastric bypass surgery, only able to comfortably eat small amounts of food at a time. 

Hopefully, when Lydia is here, I can still maintain such portion control and say no to sweets because that will help greatly with me getting back in shape.